This is serious. I have a confession. Actually three confessions. Lisa, just so you know I would like the friend discount on your lawyer fees in case I get thrown in the slammer.
Since becoming a mother I have stolen 3 things: tights, breast milk storage bags and a small box of nails. Not on purpose! And not at the same time. Yes, it keeps happening. For the record I feel horrible and it haunts me daily (or at least every once and a while). I think I need to stop taking the kid to the store. She distracts me.
Dear Target,
I am sorry I didn't pay for the tights. They were hidden under the carseat and when I got to my car and loaded the kid I found them in the bottom of my cart. I know I should have gone back in but it was pouring down rain and I couldn't handle trudging through the wet parking lot with my kid for a pair of tights. I owe you $5.
Sincerely,
Thief
Dear Target,
Again, I am very sorry. This time I found a box of breast milk storage bags under the carseat. Not sure if it was raining or snowing or if I am just tired or lazy. For whatever reason I didn't go back in. Now I owe you $15. Ugh, this is adding up quick.
Sincerely,
Bigger Thief
Dear Home Depot,
Look, I don't know what is wrong with me. I got to the car, loaded the kid, and low and behold I found a box of nails under the paint chip samples in my cart. The paint chip samples are free! Everybody knows that. The nails, well, I owe you $1.19. I really am sorry. I am sure I will make it up to you since I am becoming a self-proclaimed DIYer.
Sincerely,
Biggest Thief
Ha! I love this post. I've told you this already, but you shouldn't feel guilty about the target incidents because they owe you for shopping there so much! Home Depot might be another story...but I'm sure you'll make it up to them too. And don't worry friend, I promise to bail you out of the slammer and defend you any day. :)
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