This is serious. I have a confession. Actually three confessions. Lisa, just so you know I would like the friend discount on your lawyer fees in case I get thrown in the slammer.
Since becoming a mother I have stolen 3 things: tights, breast milk storage bags and a small box of nails. Not on purpose! And not at the same time. Yes, it keeps happening. For the record I feel horrible and it haunts me daily (or at least every once and a while). I think I need to stop taking the kid to the store. She distracts me.
Dear Target,
I am sorry I didn't pay for the tights. They were hidden under the carseat and when I got to my car and loaded the kid I found them in the bottom of my cart. I know I should have gone back in but it was pouring down rain and I couldn't handle trudging through the wet parking lot with my kid for a pair of tights. I owe you $5.
Sincerely,
Thief
Dear Target,
Again, I am very sorry. This time I found a box of breast milk storage bags under the carseat. Not sure if it was raining or snowing or if I am just tired or lazy. For whatever reason I didn't go back in. Now I owe you $15. Ugh, this is adding up quick.
Sincerely,
Bigger Thief
Dear Home Depot,
Look, I don't know what is wrong with me. I got to the car, loaded the kid, and low and behold I found a box of nails under the paint chip samples in my cart. The paint chip samples are free! Everybody knows that. The nails, well, I owe you $1.19. I really am sorry. I am sure I will make it up to you since I am becoming a self-proclaimed DIYer.
Sincerely,
Biggest Thief